Punk Potter
by Kyou
Summary: After three spells collide, Harry switches places with his alter ego from another universe. I think that pretty much explains it. Please please review
1. Default Chapter Title

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you know that I don't own any of the Potter chars. This is an alternate universe story with characters acting wildly OOC. Well go on and read it. Then review! Reviews rock, unless they don't, of course.  
  
  
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger stood defiantly against Dark Lord Voldemort once again.   
"Mwahahahaha!" he laughed evilly. "You won't escape me /this/ time!"  
"Yeah, yeah, that's what you've said the last three times." said Ron. "Really, it's kinda getting old. Find a new line, why don't you."  
"No one insults me then gets away with it!" Voldemort roared. He raised his wand (well, Ron's wand) and pointed it at them.   
Harry and Hermione immediately raised their own wands in defense. Each shouted a spell at the exact same time. The spells met in midair, and there was an explosion, which knocked everyone down. When they rose, Voldemort was gone.  
"Yeah!" cheered Ron and Hermione.   
"When's he gonna learn." sighed Ron. "He just can't beat us three!"  
Harry, however, just looked around. "What just happened?" he said. "Where the hell am I?"  
"H-Harry?" said Hermione.   
"Don't you remember?" said Ron, looking worried.  
"All I remember is, I was about to catch the Snitch and win the game for Gryffindor, then I was here! What happened?"  
Ron and Hermione looked at each other. "uh oh." they said.  
  
Harry looked around wildly. What had happened? One minute he was casting a spell at Voldemort, the next he was here, on a broomstick, with the Snitch hovering in front of him. He decided not to take any chances and caught the Snitch. Maybe he was having a dream or something....His thoughts were drowned out by cheering from the Gryffindors. He zoomed toward the ground on his broomstick, then dismounted. The rest of the team ran over to him.  
"Good going, Potter." said Wood. "Ha, now we've won the Cup the second year in a row."  
Harry smiled and tried to understand what was going on here. Ron and Hermione made their way over. "Nice going." Ron congratulated him. Harry did a double-take. Ron's hair was cut short and spiked on top. Weird, thought Harry.  
"Yeah, now we've won the Cup again. Showed those Slytherins, didn't we." agreed Hermione.  
Harry looked around. For some reason, more than half the school were dressed in Slytherin colors. What is going on? thought Harry nervously. This was creeping him out. He tried to think what might have happened as he made his way to the locker rooms with the rest of the team. He got another nasty shock as he looked in a mirror. His hair was down to his shoulders, and he had a pierced eyebrow and multiple-pierced ears. Eek, he thought. I look scary! /What/ happened when I cast that spell???  
  
"Um." said Hermione. "Something must have happened when our spells collided in midair..."  
"Yeah, but what?" said Ron anxiously. "Should we get him to the hospital wing? Do you think he's had a concussion or something?"  
"I don't think so." said Harry. "I must have been transported here when your spells collided. Don't you know what sort of stuff can happen when spells collide? Fix it fast, though. I don't want to be stuck here any longer than necessary."   
"How do we do that?" asked Ron. "And what do you mean, you were transported here? You /look/ like Harry."  
"I /am/ Harry." said Harry irritably. "I must be in my alter self." He automatically reached up to brush his hair back. "Gyaah! No hair!"  
"Wh-what?" said Ron.  
"My alter has a conventional cut!" he said, looking into a mirror. He rounded on Hermione and Ron. "Am I a Slytherin?" he demanded. "Please tell me I'm not a Slytherin."  
"You're not a Slytherin." said Ron. "You're a Gryffindor, like me and Hermione."  
"Whew, at least my alter isn't a /total/ loser." he said.  
"Hey!" said Ron. "Harry isn't a /loser/. He happens to be one of my best friends." Man, this is weird, thought Ron. I'm sitting here talking with Harry's, uh, alter ego or whatever. It's so hard to believe it isn't actually Harry.  
"Yeah, whatever." said Harry. "Ugh, we're gonna have to go to the library."   
"What's wrong with the library?" asked Hermione, offended.  
"It's so boring. Books everywhere, I can't stand it."  
"How do you get your homework done?" asked Ron curiously.  
"When I actually bother to do it, I usually use Ron's notes. Sometimes Neville'll lend me his."  
"Neville?" said Ron in disbelief. "But-he takes awful notes. Usually barely scrapes through classes."  
"Not in my world." said Harry. "His notes are almost as good as Ron's."  
"I take good notes in your world?"  
"Oh yeah. Hell, you're top of the class. Hundreds on everything. I'm almost ashamed to be your friend."  
"Wow." said Ron, looking impressed that his alter ego was the Hermione of this Harry's world.  
"What about Hermione?" he asked.  
Harry shrugged. "About the same as me, usually."  
"Dude, weird." said Ron.   
"Whatever. Come on, we've gotta get to the library and find the counter-spell."  
"All right." Hermione and Ron led the way out of the deserted classroom. They headed off toward the library.  
"Hey! You three!"  
Ron groaned. Snape was walking down the corridor.  
"What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you down at lunch with everyone else?"  
"What does it look like we're doing, we're walking down to the library." replied Harry.  
Snape's eyes shot sparks. He couldn't find anything wrong with this, as they were two feet away from the library entrance.  
"Five points from Gryffindor for talking back." He swept off.  
"What's with him?" asked Harry. "He's acting like McGonagall when she runs across Malfoy and co."  
Ron and Hermione looked surprised. "He hates you, Harry. Us, too, for that matter, but he really loathes you. He's not like that in your world?"  
"No. He may not like me much, but he's never that unfair. In fact, he's never unfair."  
"Dude, I wanna go live in /that/ world." said Ron. They entered the library, then had to turn around and leave almost immediately, when the bell rang.  
"All right, come with us." said Hermione. "You're gonna have to take classes for Harry. We've got Transfiguration next."  
"Cool." said Harry. "Or--she lets me, Ron, and Hermione get away with anything in her class. Is she the same here?"  
"No." said Ron. "She doesn't let anyone get away with anything. Man, your world's sounding better and better."  
"Ugh, sounds like Snape." said Harry. "Oh well, Transfiguration's so easy I should be able to skate through. I'll just pretend it's Snape."  
"Riiiight." said Hermione. "Don't get on her bad side..."  
"Heh, don't worry."  
They entered the Transfiguration classroom, and took seats in the back. Professor McGonagall started the class.  
"Today we will be learning how to change a mouse into a teacup." she said. She started explaining. Everyone picked up a quill and started writing. Ron glanced over and saw Harry idly drawing on his sheet of parchment.  
"Harry, what are you doing?" he hissed.  
Harry glanced over. "I already know how to do this. All it is is a variation on turning a turtle into a tea kettle."  
Ron started to reply, then noticed Prof McGonagall looking his way. He quickly shut up. Then after everyone was done taking notes, they paired up and practiced. Harry partnered with Hermione, and Ron partnered with Dean Thomas.  
"Wow." said Prof McGonagall. "Both of you did it perfectly. Good work. Twenty points to Gryffindor."  
"How did you do that?" asked Ron after class. "I tried and tried but my teacup kept ending up having whiskers!"  
Harry shrugged. "Transfiguration's just one of those things. Some people get it, some don't. Kinda like math." he added.   
Hermione was nodding in understanding. Ron just gave it up.  
"We've got Divination next." said Ron.  
"Not me." said Hermione. "I'm going to Arithmancy."  
"I've got Divination?" said Harry with distaste. "I ditched that last year."  
"Yeah, so did Hermione." said Ron. "We've still got it though."  
"Stupid class." said Harry. "Like anyone can really predict the future, anyhow."  
"I know." agreed Hermione. "And that teacher, I just can't stand her. That's why I quit."  
"Well there's one consistency between our worlds." said Harry.  
"Yup. Well I gotta get to Arithmancy, I'm gonna be late!" she ran off.  
"We'd better go too! The North Tower's so far away..."  
They went sprinting for the North Tower. They burst into the classroom a few minutes late.  
"Sorry Professor Trelawney, we got held up." gasped Ron.  
Prof Trelawney smiled mistily. "I saw that you would be late today. I won't take any points this time."  
"Thanks, Professor." Harry flashed the peace sign.  
"Today we're starting tarot cards." said Prof Trelawney, ignoring Harry.  
The lesson progressed as usual, with Harry and Ron faking it while Lavender and Patil listened to Prof Trelawney raptly.  
"Thought that would never end." said Harry. "Now I remember just why I dropped out of that class. Think I'll skip the rest of them while I'm here."  
"You can't do that!" said Ron. "Remember, you're not in your world. Everyone here thinks you're this world's Harry."  
"What do I care? I won't have to deal with any of them once I get back to my world."  
"But Harry will. Think of him!"  
"Why? He's off havin fun in /my/ world with /my/ friends."  
"Hey, he probably wants to get back here just as bad as you want to get back there. Remember, he's in a completely different world too."  
"Yeah, but my world's so much cooler." said Harry. "I hope he don't alienate Ron and Hermione while he's there. They'll probably decide I've suddenly turned into a Slytherin." he frowned.  
"Naw, I doubt it." said Ron. "Harry hates Slytherins, he won't act like one of /them/ in any hurry."  
"Well, good. Hopefully Ron'll figure out what happened...."  
They ran across Hermione.  
"Hey, guys." she said.  
"I'm jealous of you right now." said Harry. "You get to go on your merry way off to Arithmancy while I'm stuck in Divination."  
"Hee. I'm so glad I'm not in that class anymore."  
"Wanna switch?" asked Harry.  
"Huh? How?" asked Hermione.  
"Simple potion. Kinda like the Polyjuice, but instead of actually physically turning into the person, you and someone else just switch bodies. I'd become you and you'd become me, in other words."  
"Weird." said Hermione. "I think I'll just stay in my own body, though."  
"Fine, I'll deal with Divination." sighed Harry. Hermione didn't miss the glint in his eye, though.  
"What are you plotting?" she asked suspiciously.  
"Nothing!" said Harry.  
Hermione let it drop, but decided to keep an eye on him.  
"C'mon, let's head up to the common room." said Ron.  
  
  
Ok there it is! Part one! Now go and review! Review! Review! Please!  
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Well here it is! Part 2! It's a bit short, but part 3'll probably be coming soon. And, as always, please please please please review!  
  
  
  
"Let's head for the common room." said Hermione. She started walking. Ron and Harry followed.   
"That was some catch, Harry." said Ron. "For a minute I thought Malfoy was gonna catch it. That would've been the end. Those little goody-two-shoes need a break from winning. I can't believe they won the Cup two years in a row!"  
Harry tried to assimilate this information. Malfoy a goody-two-shoes? Slytherin won only two years in a row?  
"Harry?" Ron looked over at him. "Something wrong?"  
"Oh, no." said Harry. "Just, um, thinking."  
"About what?" Ron laughed. "Did you manage to get Neville to lend you his notes, or do you need mine?"  
"Uh..."  
Ron looked sharply at him. "Harry...did something happen up there at the match? I saw you falter for a minute, before you caught the Snitch, and you've been acting kinda weird ever since."  
"I don't think you'll believe me..."  
"Try me."  
"Well....I'm not who you think. I was fighting Voldemort, when me, Hermione, and Voldemort each cast a spell at the same time. The next thing I knew, I was on a broomstick, about to catch the Snitch."  
"Gah, you must've switched places with Harry."  
"Huh?"  
"Terrible things happen when spells collide. Don't you know? I bet you're Harry's alter ego, and you two somehow got switched when the spells hit."  
"Oh. Weird." said Harry. "How do I get back?"  
"Don't know. We'll have to check out the library." Ron grimaced. "I hate going in there. Harry does, too. I bet he's figured out what happened, and is moaning about having to go to the library." he laughed.  
"How can you be so sure he's figured it out?"  
"Well, after he realizes he's not on a broomstick about to catch the Snitch anymore, he'll probably ask the nearest person where the hell he is, then come to the conclusion that he switched places with his alter ego." Ron smiled. "Trust me, he'll figure it out. Aside from me, he's the smartest person I know. Even though he never shows it..."  
"What about Hermione?" asked Harry, confused.  
"Yeah, she's smart enough, too. Could be smarter, but she's even more of a slacker than Harry."  
Hermione looked behind her.  
"Yeah, and I'm perfectly fine with it. You two go on ahead to the library. I'll see if I can get any info out of Neville."  
"Don't tell him about Harry." said Ron.  
"Don't worry. I'll phrase it rhetorically." She continued on to the common room. Harry and Ron took a detour and headed for the library.  
"Hello, Ron." said Madam Pince, the librarian. "Harry, how nice to see you in here for a change. Are you finally starting to get serious about homework?"  
"Uh, yeah." replied Harry.  
"Madam Pince, I'm doing an extra credit article for Snape on restoring people to their original bodies after switching essences, but I can't find enough information in the main selections. D'you think I could possibly take a peek in the Restricted Section?" asked Ron.  
"Well....." said Madam Pince.  
"C'mon, please? You could even come supervise us if ya want."  
"Well....alright. But just this once, mind."   
"Thanks!" Ron headed off for the Restricted Section, dragging Harry along.  
"Wow, I can't believe you managed to get us access to the Restricted Section!" said Harry in disbelief.  
"Piece of cake. You just gotta be on Madam Pince's good side, and use the right forms of pleading. I'm an expert at the art of subterfuge."  
Ron walked thru the aisles, looking at the books. He stopped at an old, worn-looking book with a dark green cover and a silver design on the front. He opened it.  
"Hah! Here we are, this'll tell us what we need to know."  
Harry looked over his shoulder as he flipped through the book.   
"Here." said Ron, stopping at a likely-looking spell. "To return the essence to its owner. That's what we wanna do."  
  
That's it! The end of part 2. Now go on and perform your giri (duty) as a reader. Review! 


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